When certain events happen in my life, I find myself constantly thinking about life in two pieces: before the event and after the event. Before college and After college in a ‘big’ city. Before I moved to London and After the experience of living in a new country. Before I tore my ACL and after the very painful surgery plus a year+ of rehab. Before I got divorced and after the breakdown of my marriage. When I think about some of my befores & afters, I reflect on those big life-changing moments that stick in my mind and I recognize how much those events have shaped me into the person I am today. Sometimes I wonder who I would be if any of those events never happened. This is a very destructive activity (I know) – not like you can go back into the past. What if I didn’t do that Sunday morning ski run when I knew I was tired? What if I never moved back from London, but instead moved on to Singapore like I had originally wanted? I realize the simple fact that these defining moments, these life-changing events, have made me the person I am. I like how I have grown, I like who I am becoming, I am proud of my evolution. I am still evolving, still growing, and always will be, but I’m taking a moment to appreciate my growth. I’m excited about the stronger woman I have become through my life and am proud that I’m a nicer, more patient, considerate woman ready to follow my dreams.
As I just passed another birthday (love sunny, summer birthdays), I thought that now would be a good time to stop and understand what I want to make of this upcoming year. Let me treat my birthday like my new year’s and think through what I want to improve about myself, what I want to do in the next year, and what items off my ‘life list’ do I want to check off! Here is any overview of what I’m thinking – just a couple items (even though I tend to want to reinvent myself and take on much more than I can achieve)! Would love any thoughts and additions!
Travel More – I love to travel – its in my blood! I need to find ways to get out and explore the world more. Become a stalker of last minute deals or cheap adventures at random times in the year – sure! Btw, Norwegian Air – OMG deals to Europe – check it out! I’ve noticed that I’m feeling the itch – I haven’t been able to travel much the past two years, now I need to get back at it. Trying for one trip a month, even if local (drive-able) and just for a night!
Stop saying i’m sorry – I need to stop this. This really stems from me thinking about other people’s feelings and holding my opinion back. I need to voice my opinion and not try to always please everyone else. It’s not my fault all the time, so why am I saying sorry???? Which leads me to my next goal…
Don’t be afraid to be me – I am who I am – take it or leave it! I think I need to say this every day and actually act on it. One thing that gets to me is when people tell me “You’re too sensitive” – SO WHAT?! What is wrong with that?? That’s not a fault. I love to joke, but yes, some jokes that are directed at me are actually just mean, not funny. This is one example, but overall, I need to be comfortable with who I am, understand who I am, and stand up as ME. Plus, not surround myself with people don’t want to be around 100% ME!
Do things I keep putting off – put myself out there! – Oh…there are so many things! I want to go back to ballet class (worried a bit about my ACL). I’d like to do more networking events and get involved in some local activities that involve new experiences and meeting new people. I’d like to get some movement on this blog. My list could go on. I want to commit to get after one thing each month – even if its just a one time thing!
Thanks for listening to me! I’m committing to writing about these goals throughout this next year. I will continue to become a better me and I believe in myself! #travelmore #notsorry #alwaysbeingme #putmyselfoutthere
-A